Blog #7

http://www.saynotocrack.com/index.php/2006/10/29/can-you-make-real-friends-online/

The author of this blog post, "Can you make real friends online?" conducted a similar experiment as I have with meeting new people, only with the Social Networking site, Myspace.  She wanted to see if she could make honest to goodness friends out of complete strangers, except on the Internet.  Now this is a little different than my experiment only it ties nicely into my last blog post about calling the people you add on Facebook your "friends."  In the end, Anita Bath was not able to come out of her experiment with any "real friends," but I happen to believe it is possible to at least begin new "real" friendships online.

There was a kid in two of my classes last year named "Joe."  We never talked during school, but it seemed like we saw each other EVERYWHERE!  Eventually he requested me as a friend on Myspace and I accepted it.  We started talking on there through Instant Messaging every now and then and after a while it became a pretty regular, "Hey, how's it going?" type of thing.  Still not talking at school, we continued this Internet friendship throughout the summer and by then we had learned quite a bit about each other.  I found him to be a pretty cool and down to Earth guy, someone I could just talk to, nothing serious, and he said he felt the same.  Whenever we got bored or ran out of things to talk to we did a twenty questions thing and just asked and answered random facts about ourselves and I'm not going to lie, it was fun getting to just know someone's personality.  The most we've ever talked in person is, "Hey!" or a brief comment on the night before's conversation, but at the end of the day, if someone asked me if we were friends I wouldn't hesitate to say, "Yes."

I think this goes right back to my question at the end of my last post, "What truly constitutes a friend?"  Hanging out with someone?  Having ten classes with someone?  Or just simply having similar interests and  being able to trust someone?  I don't want people to think I'm promoting befriending random strangers on the Internet, because I'm not at all.  I'm more just having you all reflect on who you would consider a friend and why.  At a first impression, I never would have thought me and Joe would end up as more than acquaintances, and maybe that goes back to the cliche "don't judge a book by its cover."  Maybe everyone should be a little bit more open-minded and try taking risks and stepping out of their box more.  I think that is what my blog is all about, and if you've been following it, I think you might also agree.

Blog #6

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/30/fashion/30FACEBOOK.html?_r=1

I came accross this article last night and thought it might be the perfect topic for my next blog post.  The article is entitled "Are 5,001 Facebook Friends Too Many?"  There is a huge difference between friends and "facebook friends."  One dictionary definition of the word friend is: "A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard."  It is common for people to have one hundred friends on Facebook and only regularly converse on the website with maybe twenty.  Out of those twenty, one might only talk to about ten off of the internet.  Out of even those ten, you probably only actually hang out with about three or four on a regular basis.  Why?  Why do we have so many "friends" on Facebook, but can't bring ourselves to regularly ask a new person to join us for lunch?  To keep with my first example, if someone has one hundred Facebook friends, at least ten of them probably only got accepted because of the number of "friends" they had in common.  Out of those hundred, a person probably doesn't personally know about fifteen-twenty of them.  What makes us feel so much safer and confident over the internet? What makes a person so much more willing to share their personal information with strangers over the internet, yet get weirded out if they feel like somone is eavesdropping on a conversation they're having with a friend in class?  What truly constitutes a friend these days?  These are just questions to think about and take into consideration next time they both add a friend on Facebook or Myspace and not ask how the person next to them in class is doing.

Blog #5

Is it possible to have more than one best friend? I would say yes, and apparently so would one of the girls I met this week.  I went to lunch with one of my friends and asked two girls sitting together if we could join them and they said that was fine.  One of them seemed very excited to know us and was asking all kinds of questions.  As we ate our meals, the two girls were talking to each other at the other end of the table and I over heard the one asking all the questions saying she was looking for another best friend.  This seemed to shock her friend at first as she says that she thought they were best best friends.  The girl explained that she was one of her best friends as well as a guy who I had not met yet, but they were all different types of best friends.  She continued to explain the difference in their "best friend duties" and said that she wanted to find another person to be there for her and to be close with and who could do anything else that the other two couldn't do.

This interested me enough to write about in my blog because I feel it ties a lot of what I've been saying together.  Here is someone who doesn't necessarily need anymore friends, only would like more.  She wasn't putting her current friends down in any way, she was just looking for another person out there that she could connect with and have by her side.  This post goes hand in hand with my last one in that having options is a good thing.  Everyone should want to get out and have new experiences with new people and break out of their norms.  It isn't always good to be dependent on the same one or two people in order for you to enjoy yourself, and whether or not you agree with saying you have a few best friends, I think everyone should be open-minded to this concept of not being afraid to get closer with new people.

Blog #4

Typically when you hear the word "jealousy," most people associate it with romantic relationships, but this week's post is going to be on how easily it can be applied to basic friendships as well.  An overly jealous person can easily damage any kind of relationship and it is always best to communicate with the other person or persons and find a solution to the problem as soon as possible.

I came to this school with a few people that I knew and talked to but never really hung out with.  Most of my best friends got scattered around attending different schools so I was forced to get closer with the other kids from my old school as well as make new friendships all together (which is another motive behind this blog).  The first few weeks of school I spent most of my time with my two friends from high school.  Always in their room and hanging out after class, basically whenever we had free time we were together because we didn't know many new people yet.  As the days went by, though, I began to break away from that and meet new people from other schools eventually got closer with my roommate and some of her friends.  This was working out nicely for me, that way I had options and wasn't confined to the same two or three people to keep me company and go through my college experience with.

The problem of jealousy came into play when one day I was hanging out with my two high school friends and they asked what I had done earlier that day because they hadn't heard from me, and I answered with something along the lines of, "I was having lunch with a few of my friends, sorry."  My choice of words seemed to bother them and they responded sarcastically with, "Oh her friends! I forgot, you're Miss Social now."  I just laughed it off and we went about our day.  Then a few days later I was unable to hang out again because I was spending time with some people I had met in the dining hall for dinner and they seemed really bothered by this.  The next time I saw them, remark after remark about me blowing them off flew at me and how they don't have anyone else to hang out with if I can't, and I asked why they haven't tried meeting any new people.  One of them stopped and said, "Well I've met some in classes and what not, but I just haven't taken the time to remember anyone's name."  This bothered me that they were upset because I was making friends and meeting people and enjoying my first month of college and they were making no effort what-so-ever to do the same.

This situation is why I chose the quote that I did as my title for this blog.  These two friends of mine were not making any effort to meet new people until they realized that they don't have anyone to hang out with at meals if the other one was missing, they didn't have anyone to do group projects with in their classes, they didn't have anyone else to say hi to while they were walking to class.  I feel like this is all a very essential part of the college experience.  While we are all here to get an education, I think that the little things like having someone to study with can truly make a difference in how willing someone is to go through four, five, six years to get that important education and I think everyone should be understanding of those who want that as well.

Blog #3

I'm glad to see that some people are taking interest in my blog! This excites me :) On a higher note from my last post, I would like to start this week off by talking about a new friend I made, and the positive way I've already seen them being effected by it.  We will call friend number two Ralph.  [I enjoy making up these names :)].  Ralph and I have sat next to each other in a class almost since the start of the semester, but did not exchange names and basic 'get to know you' questions until about the third week of school.  At first, we only spoke here and there in class and he spoke very softly and never really had much to say overall.  Last week I invited him to have lunch with me in our dining hall and he timidly accepted.  We ate and conversed and I introduced him to my friends.  Two days later when we had class again he asked if he could go to lunch with me again and I said, "Of course."  This time, though, we sat alone and met a few new people that I offered to come sit with us at our table and we all got to know each other.  When we left the dining hall that day he told me, "You make me meet too many new people!"  It made me laugh and smile and I told him that meeting people is good and he should want to make new friends.

This week I was sick and unable to go to class on Tuesday and I got a call from Ralph asking if he could come to my room.  I said he could and he did; when he got there he seemed like a completely different person!  He was talkative and happy and having conversations with my roommate, and making a point to tell me that he met a few new people at dinner over the weekend in the dining hall.  He seemed really excited to be meeting new people and it made me happy to see him breaking out of his shell.  When I first met him he had also told me that he and his roommate hardly ever spoke, and now he said they've been talking more often and getting along a lot better.  I'm not positive that it was solely my lunch invite that made him open up more and want to make new friends, but I do know that he seems like a much happier person now that he has.  He seems to be enjoying his college experience much more and I can honestly see how much more comfortable he is around people.  This gives me even more motivation to want to keep this blog going and to keep trying to meet new people.  I think everyone could really benefit from this just as my new friend "Ralph" has :)

Blog #2

So I think this is a better time than ever to mention the power and importance of first impressions!  Since my blog is on  meeting people and friendship during college, there's no better place to start than here.  When meeting a new person, it's always important to immediately present yourself as the person you want them to remember you as when you leave.  You want to be yourself, but you always want to make that self presentable and approachable.  I know it's a little tough at times because you may feel that, while in college, there's some sort of standard you have to meet or maybe you've just always been that super self-conscious person who doesn't feel that they are good enough.  You're not alone! No one here is alone at a campus with thousands of students from all over the country and world, so just be you no matter who that may be and I can guarantee AT LEAST one other person has a compatible personality and there is always an opportunity to make friends!
 On the flip side, there will, of course, be those people who don't share the same beliefs or interests and you need to be considerate of them.  For instance, if someone is showing you clear cut signs that they are uncomfortable with your conversation topic, change it.  As I had mentioned in my previous blog, I had set a goal of meeting at least one new person each week.  I had met a guy who we'll call John.  We talked for a little bit and eventually I asked him what he did over the weekend.  He responded with, "Got drunk with some friends."  He asked if I drank and I said that I didn't.  As the conversation progressed, the drunken night stories continued...and continued...and continued!  I make a huge effort not to judge people, but the entire time we were talking, he noticed that I seemed uninterested and somewhat disturbed by the stories.  That didn't stop him from continuing to share them with me.  I don't plan on making any sort of effort to see him again, not because he drinks, but because he came off as inconsiderate.  This is just an example of a way not to approach making friends in college, and I hope everyone learns from "John's" mistakes.