Blog #13

This is my final blog post on this topic.  I hope I've shared enough of my knowledge as possible to help all of you readers understand a little bit more about the importance of friendships in college, and that everyone took at least one thing from my blog.  Even I learned new things.  I learned that something as easy as a smile or a handshake can be the beginning of something great!  I also solidified my previous thoughts that sometimes two people just aren't meant to be friends.  I hope my blog was interesting and informative, and I want everyone to know that, even though I didn't post about it every week, I did in fact keep to my little experiment about meeting one new person each week.  I met all kinds of people, this semester, some that I can see me going through much more of my college experiences with and some not so much.

Friends are everywhere, sometimes in the least expecting of places and others who might have been right there all along, but before you never would have considered to be compatible with you.  Keep an open mind and you will go far :)  Through all the good and bad experiences my experiment has given me, I wouldn't take any of them back.  Live with few fears and no regrets, and remember that you don't always have to search for what you want, sometimes it's right in front of your face, you just need to have the confidence to get it.  I hope everyone is having as great of a college experience as I am so far, and even for those of you who are following this and aren't in college anymore, I hope everything I said has been useful to everyone :)

Blog #12

So along this path of meeting new people and trying to build friendships, sadly enough, I have encountered some duds...  There are some people I have tried and tried again to have a conversation with or smile at and it just hasn't worked.  I guess it happens.  There is one particular person I have in mind as I'm writing this and I don't have to make up a name for them because I don't even know it.  As you may already know, I dorm here at Long Beach State and this person lives in my same building.  She also has a couple of classes with me.  That alone, I thought, would be enough incentive to want to get acquainted.

In my efforts in trying to make nice with this person, I have received multiple blank and unpleasant looks.  I have been known to let people know my opinions about them through my facial expressions, but they don't typically come out of no where.  This person has never tried to get to know me or even so much as acknowledge my presence and I'm not positive why.

I guess there's just some people who like what they like and have a specific kind of person they would want to be friends with and I just don't match that profile.  After a few failed attempts I took the situation for what it was and have not bothered since.  This is one example of the difficulties one may face in trying to make friends, but at the same time, shouldn't discourage you.  This just proves all the different types of people there are out there in the world and now you have examples of the types of people you do and don't want in your life :)

Blog #11

So this weekend I made up for any week I haven't met my one new person when I went to San Diego with the Ultimate Frisbee team.  Both the women's and men's team went so I got to meet and get closer with a lot of the people I hadn't really talked to before.  We carpooled over there and were then housed by a couple who used to play the sport too back in the day.  We never ended up playing in our tournament because of the rain and mud, but it was a day and a half well spent with the team :)  We hung out, went out to eat, saw a movie, and played fun road trip games in the car.

There's a sense of respect that you automatically give people you don't know.  You talk to and act very differently around them than you would if you were closer.  This weekend I broke that barrier between acquaintances and actual friendship, just by opening up a little bit and playing a word game in the car, or an ice breaker out on the field with the other teams.  We didn't get to do what we initially went there for, but I don't regret the way it ended up.  Our team's name is No Regrets and I think that is what this period in our lives is all about :)

These are group pictures taken at our last mini tournament at UCLA a few weeks ago that I went to but couldn't play in:

Blog #10

I was looking on the web for more links I could post on this blog, and I came across the article, "Friends are Crucial to a Successful College Experience" by David Morisette.  http://www.cw.ua.edu/2010/08/19/friends-are-crucial-to-a-successful-college-experience-3/  He explains that human beings need relationships to survive and why friendships are so important to us during this transition period in our lives.  There is one part where Morisette states that, "If you feel that you cannot be everything you are with your current clique, then it is high time to find a new one."  This is something that a lot of younger people have a problem grasping.  You might've made a bunch of friends in that period of time when you were desperate to fit in, or maybe you had a friend who was friends with other people, causing you to grow close with them as well.  This happens sometimes and people eventually grow up and learn that maybe they didn't make the right choice in befriending a particular person.

This realization came for me sporadically during my high school career and took complete control during my senior year.  I had friends who I had been close to for years and years, but as I grew up I realized that, maybe they weren't putting in the same amount of effort as I was for the friendship, or just that they didn't have my best interests in mind when they made choices involving me.  Whatever the reason, I had to make a choice.  I was about to graduate and move away for college and it was a decision I had to make of who I was going to keep in my life and who I was not.  This automatically happens with us for more acquaintance type friends, but not many people have the courage to do this with their current best friends.  It might take a lot for you to finally put your foot down and say, "We've been through a lot together, and it seemed like you were there for me at one point in time, but now I'm realizing that you just aren't, and I don't need that in my life."

This is another reason why starting new relationships in college is so important; it's your second chance.  After high school, you have a pretty good idea of the types of people you do and don't want in your life now, and you can use all of those past experiences to start over and get what you truly want in life.  I got a fortune cookie a few months back that read: "You don't get in life what you want; you get in life what you are."  It is one of my favorite quotes because it explains to us that every decision we make reflects who we are, so we cannot blame anyone else for anything that happens and we are constantly having to work to get "what we are," shown :)

Blog #9

http://www.dennydavis.net/poemfiles/frpoem.htm

Friends

(B. J. Morbitzer)

Life is sweet,
just because of the friends we have made,
And the things which in common we share;

We want to live on, not because of ourselves,
But because of the people who care.

It's giving and doing for somebody else -
On that, all life's splendor depends...
And the joy of this world,              
when you've summed it all up,
Is found in the making of friends.

It's amazing how much more pleasant life is when you have people to share it with.  From little things like sitting in class or eating dinner together, or even bigger things like having a family.  People being there with you is always a plus.   I've already listed a variety of ways to meet new people such as smiling or saying hello or asking them to eat dinner with you, but clubs and sports are also another great option!

I'm not one of those people who likes doing nothing.  I would always much rather be over at a friends house or outside playing with my baby brother than sitting in my room on the computer or watching TV all day.  When I was in High school I did Band and Track and Field so I was used to always being busy.  When I wasn't at some sort of practice, I was at home doing homework or playing with my brother.  Of course I love to relax and there are those moments where everyone needs their alone time, but overall I feel like I get bored very easily and would rather be out and about than sitting around.  

Now that I'm in college, surprisingly enough, I find myself with quite a bit of down time... Not that much homework, only two or three classes a day, nothing to do.  So I decided to check out the different sports teams here on campus.  I ended up joining the Ultimate Frisbee team and I  am so glad I did.  Not only has it been a fun experience being able to try something new like that, but I've made tons of friends along the way!  There's one thing I have definitely noticed about sport and club members is that they all eventually start to consider each other "family".  I know that that may seem weird to some people, but it's true and I think it's really nice to have that group of people that you can count on.  Being part of a team makes people get closer to each other faster because you are forced to be dependent on these random people and trust them and spend so much time together that it's hard NOT to make friends doing it!  If you were ever unsure of a way to meet new people fast, a club or sport is definitely one way to go about it :)

Blog #8

So a part of my blog is to show how the difficulty in making friends changes throughout the year.  One thing I have definitely noticed is that people care a whole lot less about being nice and making friends.  The first month of school, even the first two months of school, people were so incredibly friendly around campus and now you don't get that quite as often...  Along with my trying to meet one new person every week, I also do something even simpler than that by smiling at as many people as I can as I walk through the campus.  I know that it makes me a little bit happier in the mornings or after a long day of classes to see someone smiling at me, so I try to do that for others as well.  In the beginning of the semester EVERYONE would smile back.  Everyone was so happy and nice and friendly and willing to make everyone else feel comfortable.  Lately, as I walk by a person and give them a little smile the number of smiles I get in return has dramatically decreased.  I'm torn between two possible causes for this; either: 1. People aren't as worried about being friendly because they're already set with their own little group and don't need to constantly be thinking about making a good impression on other people, or 2. Things have gotten a lot more stressful as the semester progresses and people, especially those walking around campus at the end of the day, are so tired and off in their own little thinking worlds and not really paying attention to their surroundings.  Either way you choose to think about this, it does give two logical explanations for why it is a little more difficult to make new friends in the middle or end of the year or semester than it is in the very beginning.  This should also give a little hint to those who took meeting new people for granted earlier in the semester and should make them more aware of this the next time around.  I also found a video that gives every one of you guys a little challenge relating to my blog.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfvpHFGwVMc&feature=related  [I know the video itself isn't the best of quality but what she is saying is what's really important anyway :) ]  So this is something everyone can do, anytime, anywhere, and with this many students at CSULB and as many classes as we all have, there should really be no excuse not to be able to do this.

Blog #7

http://www.saynotocrack.com/index.php/2006/10/29/can-you-make-real-friends-online/

The author of this blog post, "Can you make real friends online?" conducted a similar experiment as I have with meeting new people, only with the Social Networking site, Myspace.  She wanted to see if she could make honest to goodness friends out of complete strangers, except on the Internet.  Now this is a little different than my experiment only it ties nicely into my last blog post about calling the people you add on Facebook your "friends."  In the end, Anita Bath was not able to come out of her experiment with any "real friends," but I happen to believe it is possible to at least begin new "real" friendships online.

There was a kid in two of my classes last year named "Joe."  We never talked during school, but it seemed like we saw each other EVERYWHERE!  Eventually he requested me as a friend on Myspace and I accepted it.  We started talking on there through Instant Messaging every now and then and after a while it became a pretty regular, "Hey, how's it going?" type of thing.  Still not talking at school, we continued this Internet friendship throughout the summer and by then we had learned quite a bit about each other.  I found him to be a pretty cool and down to Earth guy, someone I could just talk to, nothing serious, and he said he felt the same.  Whenever we got bored or ran out of things to talk to we did a twenty questions thing and just asked and answered random facts about ourselves and I'm not going to lie, it was fun getting to just know someone's personality.  The most we've ever talked in person is, "Hey!" or a brief comment on the night before's conversation, but at the end of the day, if someone asked me if we were friends I wouldn't hesitate to say, "Yes."

I think this goes right back to my question at the end of my last post, "What truly constitutes a friend?"  Hanging out with someone?  Having ten classes with someone?  Or just simply having similar interests and  being able to trust someone?  I don't want people to think I'm promoting befriending random strangers on the Internet, because I'm not at all.  I'm more just having you all reflect on who you would consider a friend and why.  At a first impression, I never would have thought me and Joe would end up as more than acquaintances, and maybe that goes back to the cliche "don't judge a book by its cover."  Maybe everyone should be a little bit more open-minded and try taking risks and stepping out of their box more.  I think that is what my blog is all about, and if you've been following it, I think you might also agree.